Monday, February 16, 2009

New stuff

So I have decided to start this blog for me. We have been off birth control for 7 months now and nothing. It took 6 weeks with Olivia!! What is going on? I know I am supposed to trust God and wait on His timing and I do. I can't help but wonder if something is wrong though. I know it can take healthy couples up to a year to get pregnant and what is going on is completely normal...or is it? Only 1 cycle since July? That one being in October and only had that one because I was put on Provera to MAKE it happen. Can't be normal can it? Anyway...I needed a place to vent. A safe place. There may be people who will read this...yea!! I hope some do. I know so many people have been through worse. And I have a beautiful girl to watch grow up so why I am not content with that? She is my world. She is hilariously funny right now at 2. She is soo very polite without even being asked. She makes me heart smile. My arms long to hold another one of my very own...


I have been reading Kelly's blog and she is an amazing woman of God. She has caused me to think about so much in my life lately. Just to reflect on where I was with my relationship with God and how I was living my life. Was I preparing my oil and my oil lamp like I should be? Like the parable in Matthew 25. I had to read that for worship practice and that got me thinking. Am I letting myself stay empty and not filling up with the Word and with the things of God so that I CAN be a light for Olivia? Is being at home with her instead of working doing either of us any good if I am not using that time like the Lord has showed me I should? She might as well be in daycare because if I am empty all the time I am doing her no favors. Just a few of the things that I have been pondering on lately...

SO this blog is a place for myself to share...my heart, my hurts, my fears, my family, my life....with you if you want...

2 comments:

Rach@In His Hands said...

Hello there....just wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you! I hope you are blessed with the child your heart desires soon.

Your daughter is so precious.

In Him,
Rachel

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

Hi, Olivia's Mommy! :)

First...when I clicked on your page, I was blown away by the picture in your header...she looks like a little angel in that white dress. Just beautiful!

Oh, I so get this! I haven't gone into too many details on my blog...but my cycles are SO messed up, so I can totally relate. I keep wondering what is wrong with me, and I keep hoping I will just go back to NORMAL, but I am trying to rest in the fact that God has a plan. Much like you...we got pregnanct with our first in about 2 months, so I never expected anything to be different this time around.

I'll be praying for you! :)